Thursday, July 16, 2009

Cross Post - Good Summer Reading (circa 1875)

He's dead, Jim!

I just finished reading the first half of that classic novel, "The Somnambulist and the Detective" by Allan Pinkerton. Yes, the Allan Pinkerton for whom the Pinkerton National Detective Agency was named. Allan moved here from Scotland with his bride, began as a private detective in Chicago in 1849 or 1850, eventually met up with some muck-a-mucks (click the link if you want details; I'm not going to repeat a Wikipedia article), popularized such detective tricks and shadowing (tailing, following) and what we would now consider undercover work, and eventually put his name on a series of fictionalized accounts of his career (rumor has it they were ghostwritten).

The story begins with a young bank clerk being killed and a bank robbed. This all takes place somewhere down south; most of the evidence is overlooked by the locals, since it leads to the best friend of the deceased because class matters in 1850 Mississippi, and the best friend, Mr Drysdale, is of the best of families. But ol' Pinky, who is called in as a last-chance attempt to catch the killer/robber, is a cranky Scot, he is, and he dinna care fer a man's standing in the community. After examining clews, weighing evidence, and sucking down mint juleps galore, he trots back to Chicago, and formulates a plan so cunning that you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel. A large, inefficient, clunky weasel.

Next we know, a widow (Mrs Potter), a man of means (Mr Andrews), and a young carpenter (Mr Green) descend upon this small town. All are operatives of ol' Pinky - oops, I should have said spoiler alert. Now y'all will know how the story ends.

Their job is to figure out how to get a confession from the murderer Drysdale. Mrs Potter (not her real name) befriends the innocent wife of the alleged murderer...

Hard-boiled female detective schmoozes up innocent housewife can see the evidence for yourself. In fact, this heartless undercover agent fakes an injury to infiltrate their household - a shameful pretense of being dependent upon the kindness of strangers. Indeed!

"She's suffered severe trauma, Jim!"

Mrs P starts smearing blood all over their home in the middle of the night in order to freak out the suspect. Talk about the house guest from hell...

Meanwhile, Messers Andrew and Green (not their real names) plot to drive Drysdale insane, in case Mrs P's imitation of "The Shining" doesn't work. (Okay, okay, this book came before "The Shining".) Mr Green looks like the deceased, so they dress him up to look like, well, a zombie in order to freak out the suspect even more.

"He's undead, Jim!"

And it works - but only some of the time. Our alleged murderer gets up and wanders in the middle of the night to the locations where he has buried the stolen money, and doesn't notice the zombie during his late-night strolls.

"He's the living dead, Jim!"

At this point, I know, you're hoping for a zombie war, or perhaps a face-off between a zombie and, say, a nosferatu. No such luck, dear readers. If the title hasn't already given it away, he's sleepwalking! Yes, sleepwalking. Wow! And FYI, that's a large, flat rock that our sleepwalker is holding. He's not wrestling with an alien life form or anything. Sorry.

By now, Drysdale is in hysterics. No southern belle could out psychosomatic him at this point, and I mean it. For instance, every time he finds the blood smeared in his room, he faints and says that he is weak from loss of blood... but he hasn't really lost any blood. So why is weak and faint - hysteria? Nerves? Guilt? A secret opium habit we're never told about?

No matter. They've succeeded in making him crazy. And yet, he still won't confess.

From what I can tell, the operations of these three detectives has probably taken three to six months. Honestly, if all his cases were this labor-intensive and drawn out, there is no way Allan Pinkerton would have become the rich, worker-hating lawman that he became.

Anyway, Pinkterton returns to the south, and gets together with everyone to plan one last attempt to coerce a confession from this dude without using a waterboard or lynch laws. Mr Green gets into his zombie togs again, and hides in the bank - the scene of the original crime. They arrest Mr Drysdale and take him to the bank. (If you're like me, you feel like you're suddenly in an episode of "The Beverly Hillbillies", but you're not; hillbillies could not afford Pinkerton's fees back in 1856.) I'll let the lovely illustration show you the moment when they break the killer:

"Dammit, Jim, I'm a murderer, not a doctor!"

Ah yes, they just don't confess like this anymore. And look at Mr Sourface McMustache in the background (just to the left of Drysdale) - stern and judgmental. That's a level four glare of disapproval. If it had been a level five, Drysdale would be a heap of ashes or a puddle of goo on the floor.

Eh, I give the story a C, mostly for being brief and having some lovely illustrations. The plot was ridiculous - but not as ridiculous as "The Ghoul", a book which I will review in loving detail someday. If you're not going to be a realistic mystery, you should go all out for crazy, over-the-top thrills, which "The Ghoul" delivers. The second half of the Pinkerton book is a tale entitled, "The Murderer and the Fortune-teller". If it's any good - or if the drawings are the least bit entertaining - I'll let you know.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Woo hoo! Knit Swap Time!

Gypsygirl and I had our Summer Swap - a smaller swap, but full of goodies to get us through the dog days of summer. So I've got a few photos of summery fun to post, as well as my thanks to my knitting swap buddy.

But first, I wanted to post a little something regarding the fact that I rarely leave home without some sort of knitting project in hand (and often, a book as well). I keep telling people, "You don't want to be trapped with me for 72 hours and me not have any knitting around!" Friends generally agree, whether they appreciate knitting or not. They can imagine the horror of such an event...

I've been reading articles every now and then about the earthquake in Abruzzo, Italy. My grandfather was from that region, and I'd like to move there - or at least visit - someday (yeah, it's boring, but they have sheep - sheep, I tells ya! Sheep-wool-knit!) I found the following articles on the same woman:

Maria D'Antuono told rescuers that during the 30 hours she was trapped, she occupied herself by knitting and doing crotchet.

The stone house where the 98-year-old was buried under her bed in the village of Tempera, was a scene of devastation having completely collapsed on one side.

A relative told The Daily Telegraph: “She is a very respectful, well brought up, nice person. She is a little, skinny lady, full of life, joyful and well-educated.

"She lived with her daughter, a retired teacher. Because of the strength of the quake, they thought the old woman was dead. They couldn’t look for her the first evening as it was too dark.

"The firemen came back at first light with a ladder and found Signora D’Antuono alive and in good health. It’s a miracle. She couldn’t do anything as she was stuck under the bed. They took her away, gave her a check-up and found her to be in perfect health. It’s incredible.” {from the Telegraph UK}

And then on the Yarn Forward blog:

Always keep your knitting near!

by Shannon on April 8, 2009

One bright spot in the news about the recent Italian earthquake: a 98-year-old woman pulled alive from the rubble spent her time knitting and crocheting while waiting to be saved.

From the Telegraph:

Maria D’Antuono told rescuers that during the 30 hours she was trapped, she occupied herself by knitting and doing crochet. The stone house where the 98-year-old was buried under her bed in the village of Tempera, was a scene of devastation having completely collapsed on one side.

Let this be a lesson to you — always keep your knitting nearby, you never know what might happen and it’s good to be prepared!

At this point, I assuming it's a genetic predisposition that has me going nowhere without my knitting. And for good reason, as the articles demonstrate!

Now, back to the swap.

Gypsygirl sent me the following goodies:

A couple of skeins of yarn, and a yarn bag!

A close-up of the Opal; the perfect color for some summer knitting. I have several sock patterns that would look wonderful in this color!

Some sari silk yarn; this is great, as I have some Mango Moon I've been meaning to knit a pillow out of. I can add this to it. That's the nice thing about the sari silk yarns - they are usually so multi that you can mix them any which way!

Patriot goodies for the family 4th of July fete - I'm gonna kick my cousin's arse at paddle ball, I tells ya!

Mmmm...knitting patterns.

She also sent me this groovy ice cream cup and scoop. So I had to buy some ice cream to try it out!

A to-do list with "I'd rather be knitting" at the top (I have my doubts as to whether I'll get more done with something reminding me that I'd really would rather be knitting) - a red, white and blue candle that I'm enjoying in the bathroom (I'll have to take a soak with some champagne on Bastille Day and the tricoleur candle) - some wonderful old-fashioned soap that's really lovely - a book of very funny quotes for women and their women friends - and the best bubble-blowing setup I've had in forever! This baby puts out a lot of bubbles, all good-sized but not huge. Too cool!

What did I get her? Oh, a bunch of weird stuff from the local Daiso $1.50 store. I love those places! And yes, I did send her yarn. Need you ask?